A picture of the Force

I choose this image because it gives importance to mental energy, also, it seems to be surrounded by a superior entity (or force), and both are displayed in same color palette, as being part of the same thing.  I think is a adequate metaphor of the Force envolving and flowing trougth us, and the ability of our minds to be aware and attuned to it.

A short personal story

First, i didn’t think my story has nothing worth talking about, but as i remind, i discovered some events that i believestrongly marked my path.

I had nothing unusual to say about my childhood, except for being raised around women. I’m the second of three brothers (well, two sisters and a brother, myself), and have 15 cousins that happens to be all girls. I don’t remember my father staying at home very much (he worked a lot), and i ended always surrounded by women. But i accept it with pride. From this time i started my interest for epic fantasy (knigths battling dragons) and sci-fi (star wars, star trek, galaxy rangers).

I attended public school, and i wanted to be comic drawer for all my childhood and most of my adolescence. I even took some formal draw lessons in an academy.  But soon it proves quite unrealistic to get a drawer job (the comic world in spain is very sparse, and most drawers are freelances that does their work in free time after their “real” jobs).  It were about this time, first grade high school, when i started to date my first girlfriend. A schoolmate. All ok at first, but as our relationship develops, i discovered she had a terrible relationship with her mother. She was dougther of divorced parents, and lived with her mother and her little sister.  One day i was involved in a terrible arguing between she and her mother, that soon became physical. i don’t remember why it started.  It ended with my girlfriend being slapped several times and leaved me with a overwhelming impotence feeling.  Short after, i started martial arts training.

When i was about 21, my mother had a heart failure, and it took her about a year of hospitalization and a triple bypass to recover.  I think this drove me to the medic interests.  Not to directly help my mother (who actually enjoys good health), but it discovered me a fascinating world.  I first join Red Cross volunteers, where i learn my first rescuing skills.  I assisted to as many courses i could, and taking any job i came across (i worked delivering pizzas, selling apartments, as receptionist, as construction worker…).  Also i started develop interest in esoteric ways, things like meditation, magick or tarot card reading (i even worked as tarotist for a while).

A couple of years after, i wanted to go one step further.  I considered coursing medicine (M.D.), but was extremely expensive and time consuming (i had to keep working to finance my career), and nursery seemed (at that time) too far from the emergency.  So i started Paramedic studies (here in Spain called Tecnico en Emergencias Sanitarias). I graduated in 1999 and immediately get a job in ambulance service in a city near mine. And there i am since then.

About three years ago, i met my actual girlfriend (Ana).  We started to date, and eventually she get pregnant.  So i moved to her apartment and we start to live together. And soon there were three of us.

What is the Force to me

I agree with the general conception of the Force.  An energy field that connects all living beings, and that flows trought us. But for me is a bit more.  The Force is a field of mental energy, that not only flows trought us, but from which we are originated.  

It could be difficult to explain it with some deepness, without taking a look to my conception of the universe. I’ve talked a bit about this in my blog but i will repost it here for wholeness.

Essentially, all that exists in universe has to be originated from somewhere.  Is clear for anyone who takes a minute to think about it, that those complex relations between living and unliving things, the very laws of nature (physics, chemistry) and the minucious workings of molecules forming the matter, cannot simply occur by ramdomness.  There is the need (the very need) of some kind of organizing force.  Some kind of intelligence able to dispose things in order to succefully exist.  You can call this “intelligence” as you like: God, Nature, the Prime Engine, or whatever.  I decided to call it the Force, because is a name that smoothly fits in.  Is concrete enough for give you a general idea of what we’re talking about, but is loose enough to not try to describe it (by definition, the nature of the force is undescribible) and to group almost all philosophies and creeds about universe, humanity and God, which is important to me.

For reasons too long to explain here (but i’m glad to discuss it with any students or instructors likely to do so), we can conclude that the Force can only create things in one way: within is own mind. Why? Because nothing can exist outside the Force. If we asume that this “nature” or “God” reaches all that exist, and nothing can escape it, because if so, then not “all” can be englobed, and thus we’re not talking about all, just about part of all, the only way to acomplish it is by creating the universe in the own mind of the Force (or nature, or God).

This also explains the connection all things have with the Force.  The force is in all, in the same way as a novelist writes a book. Shakespeare wrote “Hamlet”, and, in doing so, every person, place, plant, rock and happenning is infused by him.  All the book, any of its parts, even those who are not described in the story, but are suposed to be there (people in the court, soldiers of the army, etc…) are infused with the will and energy of shakespeare.

So the Force infuses its will an energy to our universe, connecting all things, and flowing througth all.  And as we all exist in the mind of the Force, those energy field we percieve can only be mental energy.

The Force is for me, in conclusion, a mental energy field that connects all that exist, and which emanates from a superior intellect. Curiosly, so great, ominous words can easily acomodate all other philosophies and conceptions of the world. After all, the Force connects us all, even those with creeds afar from our.

Breathing exercise

First, sorry for been so long after my last update.  I’m passing some personal circumstances that has made it dificult. 

 I ended the breathing exercise about a month ago, but i restarted it on last week, just for keeping the pace.  I feel it quite relaxing, but after every meditation i ended feeling it not enough.  after first teo days i stayed longer (10 minutes), and i meditated for full 20 minutes the last two days and i still felt that “incompletefulness”.  Every time i had the sensation i can go further (i don’t know exactly where or how) and that i had stopped before the end.

I wonder if any student had similar feelings. 

Anyway, i’m moving to hte next exercise.

The Force and the Tao

I’ve decided to write about the Tao because I think it is very close to my own conception of the force.

Taoists believe in an energy, or path, that rules over all living things in universe.  This obviously relates to the Force in his very concept, an energy field that connects all living things. But Taoism also includes in it a source of this energy.  This source is indescribable, as they say “the Tao which we can describe is not the true Tao”, but is the origin of the universal connection.  Although the concept of the Force does not includes a common origin, just a relationship of all living beings, it skipping a bit away from Tao, I think is not out of subject to believe in a common origin of the force.  We are all connected by it and it flows thought us, and such a deep relation, even with distant beings, simply can’t come from nowhere.

Taoists also believe in the flow of Tao, and it’s a slow, subtle flow, but extremely powerful to those who can master it.  This is a direct analogy to the flow of the Force.  Tao compares it to the water: it is soft and lithe, but can also dig through rock.  So this can be applied to the Force too: soft, invisible but still very powerful in trained hands.

The metaphor of water leads us to one of the core creed of Taoism, the Wu-wei , which means the “action through non-action”. According to this principle, people have to flee from the excess of action. All things and desires can be accomplished, but they have to come through the flow of Tao.  Men imposing his will to the natural harmony of the flow will cause great chaos in their lives. So, a Taoist must take efforts to “attune” himself to this Tao harmony, in order to accomplish his goals. 

I think all this is a beautiful analogy to the Light side-Dark side dichotomy of the force.  In order to stay in the light side, a Jedi must be in harmony with the Force, flowing with it and accepting its guidance.  And those who try to impose his will to it, will soon find themselves in a self destructive career, and so falling to the dark side.

So in conclusion, it’s clear to me that both the Tao and the Force are two slightly different interpretations of the same philosophy.  Even our codes (or Decalogue)   are very close indeed.  Both promote the peaceful, meditated action, and the deep knowledge of oneself.  Also, both conceive the universe as a groups of very different beings connected by an energy flow that makes them, in essence, equal.  So I believe a Jedi could learn much from Force mysteries buy studying the Tao, and any work relating it could be of great insight to any of us, even those who are not directly interested in the Force.

Personal learning plan

I currently have no advisors, but i hope to have some in a short time.

Integrative Practice hours

I expect to go regularly to yoga classes in my gym.  3 hours a week if possible.  I also will continue with my standard training routine of 6 hours a week, wich includes cardiovascular training (running and swimming) and fitness.

I hope to have time to read a pair of books from Llewellyn Worldwide, wich looks interesting.  “Psychic development for beginners” and “Practical guide to psychic powers”.  I hope it can be done in a few months. late spring, maybe.

I also have to attend at college nursery classes.  I’m in first grade by now (of four).

Institute for Jedi realist courses

I hope for taking both Meditation and Force 101 plus Personal 101, and having them finished by the summer end.

Additional goals

Pass my first grade nursery certificate, and going trough second grade.

I already have a paramedic certification, wich includes CPR, first aid, external defibrilator use, anathomy, physiology and pharmacology, along with other medical knowledge.  So this are already acomplished.

The most hard obstacle i expect is time.  i have to manage job, family college and now the academy.  So it will be difficult to find hours to dedicate to my training.  I hope to solve it trough carefully time planning (and maybe shortening holidays).

Leadership introductory training

I’m not used to see myself as a leader.  I like to discuss important decissions with the people involved.  At home, all relevant questions are consensuated. Not every decision, but those that affects the normal working of home or the family lifestyle (like starting college or buying a new car).

At job is a bit different.  We are expected to take the initiative and to know exactly what we are doing.  The standard crew is two paramedics per ambulance, but none of them are in charge.  We are only under authority if a college M.D. is present, but otherwise we are on our own.  Many times i’ve taken the initiative in an incident, and acted as being in charge, but as many has done my partner.  I never got the feeling of being leader, or being commanding other people.  We don’t talk about it.  Simply when one of us takes the situation, the other lets him go and gives support.

I remember an incident a couple of years ago.  It was saturday nigth watch, about 3.00 am, and we were assigned to a car crash.  On arriving, we found two cars crashed full of people (coming from partying), for a total of seven injured.  People lie scattered all over the road.  My partner goes to call for aid, and i went to attend the injured.  Most were ok, but i can see three of them needing assistance:  A young pregnant girl crying aloud, a middle aged man with glass fragments fixed near his eye and bleeding, and a young man lying prone without moving.

I imediately approach the young man.  there were no blood and apparently no injuries, but it has low beating and breathing.  I search for his vitals and i thougth for an inner bleeding.  My parnter returns and ask me for what to do.  I point to the man bleeding.

Another ambulance arrived shortly (in few minutes).  I was doing ressucitation to the man (alone), my partner just ended to compress the glass man wounds, and the pregnant girl was still crying. One of the paramedics comes to aid me, and the other goes with the girl.  After a few minutes, that lasted eternally, we get all to hospital with folliwing results.  The pregnant girl had broken her arm.  The glasses man had ugly face wounds, and required surgery for extracting all glass fragments, and the young man had ribcage fracture with liver wounding and internal bleeding (it takes 3 weeks at UIC but he can tell about).

Well, i was greatly critiziced for leaving a pregnant unattended, and for focusing in a victim wich will be classified as “unrecoverable” (our protocol sais that in multiple victim situation, any heart failure is considered a death, and so no resucitation is applied).  And yes, i oversee the protocol, and may be aid other victims.  But if i didn’t do it, that young man (Juan), didn’t survived the accident.  So may be i make wrong decisions law-in-hand, but i’m not sure if i not make the same again.  But after all, i feel bad.  We saved a life, but i still think we can did better.  I still doubt if i acted correctly.  That pregnant girl could have some severe wound, or the child could be affected.  None of this hapenned, but i still wonder what could happen.  I hope this course could lead me to make better decisions, or at least to accept them with ease, even when are wrong.